


don't take drugs lmao

by SkyeFish



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, im a professional writer, lol idk lma0, mentions of sex????, ok i should probably make this mature bc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 11:33:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9894713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyeFish/pseuds/SkyeFish
Summary: a shit post i wrote when i was high on imaginary drugs. obviously a favourite hobby of mine





	

**Author's Note:**

> Bet y'all bitches think i was ded. but obv im still alive and slayin. but anyways have something i dont usually write : crack and also this was written in like 2016 and then i forgot about it and continued it recently

Today is going to be a great day. Or so Jisoo thought.

“Shua, this ain't working out.”

“Yeah.”

“Um.”

“Guess I'll leave then,”

“Yeah.”

*

Jisoo leaves then. He doesn't look back, doesn't let the pain get through his heart. He doesn't let his tears fall.

“Cheol,” He whines. “We broke up today.”

“God,” Seungcheol groans. “Again?”

“What do you mean again?” Jisoo shrieks, offended.

“Ow, you little shit.” Seungcheol winces as he keeps the phone away from his ear. “Okay, how many times did you call me after a breakup?”

“Um, five?”

“Yeah Soo. You sure it's only five?”

“I don't know, lol. But you're supposed to comfort me! I just broke up!”

“And what do you propose me to do?”

“Ooh, propose! Big word! And yes that's what I want you to do. Propose to me! Let me have a day where I'll bathe in overpriced happiness that I won't partake in spending a single cent.”

“Hong Jisoo,” Seungcheol growls. “Why’d you have to tease?”

“I know you like me,” Jisoo drawls, “For years now. I'm single, you're single, and you like me. I'm giving you a chance alright? Take it or leave.”

“And what do I get in return?”

“Head before bed and head in the morning as soon as I wake up. I'll do any kink you request, shower sex is great, and you can have my collection of Gundams. How's that sound?”

“Forget the Gundams. I want your secret sex toy stash.”

Jisoo blushes at this.

“And I get to be pampered.”

“Deal.”

*

Jeonghan stares at Seungcheol disapprovingly. He's got his suit and tie ready and a red velvet box in hand. Inside that stupid box bears a 17-carat diamond ring, just the way Jisoo likes his rings. Seungcheol ignores Jeonghan and slips the box into his pocket. It fits nice and snug.

“Okay hey I'm not one to judge but areyoureallygonnaproposelikethat?” Jeonghan says quickly.

He then proceeds to imitate the famous meme.

“WHAT ARE THOOOOOSEEE???” he screams, pointing at Seungcheol’s eyebags, unkempt hair, chapped lips, untrimmed fingers, mismatched socks and his shoes. His shoes are the worst. 

Who in their right mind wears Crocs to propose?

Totally not Seungcheol.

“Oh my God. Stop pressuring me okay?”

“Bro, Seungcheol; my man. I'm not tryna pressure you aight? But you know Jisoo. He a motherfucking princess eh? Treat him like royalty c'mon. Maybe he'll even call you daddy when y'all fuck.”

“Stop making my boner pop alright?”

“That's why you gotta score them brownie points fam. Now let's make your entire existence scream zaddy.”

*

It takes less than half an hour to make Seungcheol presentable. Hideous pimples and blemishes hidden with concealer, face done by Jeonghan, fashion choices reevaluated by Jihoon, hair styled by Mingyu, fingernails buffed and painted by Wonwoo, and Ming Hao; erasing God’s mistakes by dumping the crocs into the dumps.

“How do you look?”

“I look, pretty.”

“Pretty fucked up, you mean!” 

“GET THE FUCK OUT JUN!”

“I'LL BE HOGGING YOUR FRIDGE, THANKS!”

Seungcheol, now in a proper suit and tie, hair styled just the way Jisoo likes (Mingyu knows because Mingyu has been down memory lane of his exes), face clear as a baby’s butt. And shoes, made of pure genuine leather and polished till it reflects.

“I'm ready. So ready.”

“So ready to fail, you mean!”

“Fuck off, Jun!”

*

“Thanks for the ride homie.” Seungcheol says as he gets out of the car.

“You're welcome, gaymie.” Jeonghan says, reaching for the blunt Jihoon's smoking.

Jihoon swats his hands away and flips him the finger. He gives Seungcheol a thumbs up and they drive away; probably to go fuck.

Seungcheol walks up to Jisoo’s door before he forgot something. Fucking flowers.

Fucking Jun Hui was right.

Sure, he might look zaddy, but he's sure Jisoo will not be smitten unless he gets him his favourite goddamned chocolate flowers.

“Sol. Please I need your help.”

Seungcheol gets into the Uber fairly quickly. 

“Oh my god.” Hansol says, while driving. So Seungcheol had summarised what’s going on between him and Jisoo.

“Shut up okay? I know you just broke up with him yesterday but-”

“He moves on so quickly.” Hansol groans, stopping at a red light.

“Where are we going?”

“Just the shop he’s obsessed with.”

“Which is?”

“Victoria’s secret.” Hansol says without missing a beat. “Good luck with your wallet.” he adds after.

*

Hansol chats with the over friendly cashier (that’s trying his hardest to flirt) while Seungcheol is left alone to stress over his dilemma. What should he buy? What does Jisoo even like? Lingerie? Perfume? Bags? What colour is his favourite?

“Hi sir,” someone says from behind Seungcheol, startling him.

“Hi, can you help me?”

“Well that’s why I’m here right?” The other says, rolling his eyes.

And so, Seungcheol tells a overly summarised story.

“Okay so you’re in a suit and tie but you don’t know what to buy for your fiance.” the employee concludes.

“Technically I’m not his-”

“Darling, we don’t care about minor shits like that okay? Just pick a thing, I’ll ring it up and you give a surprise okay?”

“But I don’t know what he likes!”

“Are you gonna get lucky tonight?”

“I’d like to think so, hopefully?”

Seungcheol finds a ‘Very Sexy Eau De Parfum’ shoved into his hands.

“Okay, so this, little shit right here has been my ultimate lifesaver.” Explains the sales assistant. “When I tryna score some cuties in the bar, they come crawling to me whenever i wear this shit. So yea. Buy this shit”

“But i want him crawling to me, not others crawling to him!”

“Fuck.” the other groans loudly. “You’re a fucking hard customer, mate. Alright, here. Bombshell Eau De Parfum. This one makes your lil princess or whatever the fuck you call him sexy forever, with the scent of Purple passion fruit, Shangri-la peony and vanilla orchid. Gives that fucking delicious fruity floral scent.”

“But he’s already sexy enough…”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD,” the guy hollers.

Seungcheol feels almost guilty. But he’s going to propose! He needs this to end well!

“Okay. I’m gonna recommend this one. You’re in no position to refuse this motherfuck. You like that domestic shit, you like that romantic bullshit, right? Heavenly Eau De Parfum.” He starts talking normally as he notices someone pass by them, probably his manager or something. 

“This product is scented like heaven, with the perfect blend of White musk, sandalwood, vanilla and white peony. Gives you the perfect atmosphere of lovey-dovey I have been dreaming about” He ends the sentence with a clap and a gummy smile.

“Oh, Perfect! I’ll take this, thanks.”

“That’ll be $68, sir.” The cashier says, as he continues to stare longingly at Hansol that’s on his phone at the exit. Seungcheol grabs his crying wallet and pays for the bottle of fragrance.

“What the hell took you so long?” Hansol asks as he sees Seungcheol approaching him.

“Well I had to give him something meaningful and-”

“Okay, we’re gonna go pick up the stupid chocolate roses.” Hansol says, cutting him off.

“By the way,” Seungcheol says as he hands Hansol a piece of pink paper which was lightly scented with ‘Tease Eau de Parfum’, “The cashier over there asked me to give this to you. In case you wanted more time to eye-fuck each other.”

Hansol grabs the paper like his life depended on it.

*

“Cheolie-hyung! Welcome!” the young florist beams, running over to give him a hug. Seungcheol smiles fondly and ruffles his head.

“Don't do that! I wasted minutes of my life to achieve that perfection!” Chan pouts.

“I'm here too,” Hansol snaps, glaring at the both of them. While he's continuously ignored, Chan invites Seungcheol into his small family owned flower shop.

“I'm here too, dammit!”

To say that the shop is any plant enthusiast’s favourite place is an understatement, with multiple flowers with a warm hue displayed at the front of the shop, and the cooler tones placed behind, with distressed and faded antiques scattered over, it felt so out of time but so in place. 

It had never cease to fail Seungcheol’s expectations of being bewildered and amused.

“What did you come for?”

“Chocolate roses.”

“Oh but, we're a little low on that.”

“Shi-” before Seungcheol could finish his sentence, someone whacks him on the head.

“Hey Cheol,” says the culprit. “it me.”

“Seokmin?”

“Aye bud. How’s life?”

“Great! How's yours?”

“Dying. Same old.”

Seungcheol chuckles at that.

“I'm not kidding but whatever. Heard ya proposing.”

“Yeah. But Chan’s out of chocolate roses.”

“Don't worry man, don't worry; i gotcha man.” Seokmin says as he magically produces a bouquet of aluminium balls. “it a cheaper brand tho. Your lil princess wouldn't mind, would he?”

“No,” Seungcheol says, mouth slightly agape. “Thanks bro.”

“Eh. This nothing compared to what ya helped me thru before.” Seokmin waves an arm. “This gon make ya get some tonight.”

The fucker had laced the entire bouquet with viagra.

“Thanks!” Seungcheol says as he graciously accept the bouquet.

One look from Seokmin had chills running down Hansol and Chan’s back.

*

Hansol kept glancing over at the bouquet.

“Are you sure that guy is trustable?”

“He might look shady but he's a nice guy!”

“Um. Okay, whatever you say.”

The both of them lets the booming rap music fill up the silence. It's 4 o'clock and Seungcheol is running late. He still needs to set the balcony, cook the steaks, groom the pomeranian, water the blooming flowers, and whatever he has to do to impress Jisoo.

“sol, can you hurry up?”

“Fuck you. The traffic look free to you?”

“No, but-”

“Hush. My car my rules.” Hansol says gruffly.

The silence returns and Seungcheol fiddles with the bouquet of flowers.

“Fucking brat” Seungcheol mutters under his breath.

“I can hear you, jackass.” Hansol growls. Maybe he's just sad that his ex for a day is getting married.

*

They reach the the condominium’s rooftop at 4, and begin their preparations. Seungcheol fumbles with untangling the cords of the fairy lights. Hansol chills on one of the chairs, being a very useful asset to Seungcheol. The fairy lights, are not as long as Seungcheol had hoped it would be. The were stuck, dangling halfway on one of the pillar awkwardly with Hansol snorting at him.

“Would you stop being a jerk and come help me out?” Seungcheol grits out as he tries to figure out the placement for the decorations. He may or may not be trying too hard.

“Stop stressing yourself too much.” Hansol sighs, and proceeds to assist Seongcheol in whatever he’s doing.

“Sol!” Seungcheol cries as he grabs the younger and shakes him by his shoulder. “You’re a fucking lifesaver.”

Hansol looks at him, dazed.

“You’re a culinary student aren’t you? The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?” Seungcheol yells, exasperated.

“You’re lucky you’re older than me.” Hansol grumbles. And they get to work, with Seungcheol trying his best not to burn the heart shaped steaks while Hansol orders him around like fucking Gordon Ramsay.

“WHAT ARE YOU?” Hansol yells, pressing two buns onto Seungcheol’s face.

“An idiot sandwich.”

“Holy fuck. DID YOU GET THAT FOR SNAPCHAT JUN?”

“FUCK YEA!”

Just be glad they were still alive because Seungcheol can’t afford to waste any more energy on killing an entire group of idiots.

*

“Cheol!!!! JISOO IS HERE!! HURRY THE FUCK UP!!” Jeonghan yells as Seungcheol tries his best to put up the finishing touches. Upon being yelled at, he got startled and dropped the expensive ass ring, right into the pool. (What do u mean we can’t have a pool on top of a rooftop??? That’s scandalous.)

“FUCK!” Everyone screams simultaneously. Seungcheol because of the ring, Jeonghan because of Jisoo coming thru real quick, Jun because there’s a pool?! Ming Hao because the damned crocs are back and haunting him, Wonwoo, because he thought it was time to sing. And Hansol. He set the steak on fire. So much for being a culinary student.

Cue Mingyu screaming Fuckwhyiseveryonefuckingscreaming?!

As the chaos got more chaotic, the door slams open and there stands the royal fucker himself --Hong Jisoo.

“What’s up bitches! Homeboy jisoo here!”

Because he’s beauty, he’s grace, he’s got fucked up back up plans in his face; Seungcheol pulls out his life saver. A damn pop ring.

“Hong Jisoo!” Seungcheol started, as Jun jumps into the pool, splashing him in the process. Seungcheol continues as if nothing happened and gets on one knee. “Will you marry me?” he says, presenting the pink lollipop ring.

Jeonghan really really prays the Gods for Seungcheol.

“Um, what the fuck?”

“Here, your roses.” he presents the bouquet, fortunately not engulfed by the roaring fire in the background.

“I want a proper ring tho?”

And suddenly, a wild Jun emerges from the water.

“My precious……” he hisses, cradling a shiny object

“Fucking hell.” Seungcheol grits. “Jun.”

“What?” Jun says, still hugging the ring protectively.

“Cash me outside, howbow dah?”

“Cheol, you’re outside.” Jihoon mutters quietly.

“Whatever man. That fuck’s gonna take my bride away!”

“Cheol, what the fuck.” Jisoo says as he plucks the ring out of Jun’s fingers. “Aren’t we already married?”

Everyone’s face is a ‘???’ and then they lived happily ever after.


End file.
